Despair

The Ev’Man seems to be strangely optimistic and BF is way out there.  I’m unusually pessimistic this month.  Maybe it’s the 70 hour work week in a Silicon Valley internet startup, Jay’s life change (he’s not cross dressing – I hope), or maybe it’s just me.

My friend Richard gave me a calendar from Despair Inc, called Demotivators.  I’ve been watching it closely for the past 9 months as it, eerily, mimicked my life.  Each month there is a picture and a slogan.

January was a skier in the middle of a clumsy fall, with the caption Ineptitude – If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.  This calendar is my life.

January

Ineptitude

If you can’t learn to do something well, lean to enjoy doing it poorly.

January found me riding a new KTM through the mud of Hollister.  I felt pretty fast until I went riding with my brother Al, Harry, Buskie, and Paul at Stonyford.  Instead of selling my bike and taking up lawn bowling, I’m learning to enjoy being slow and inept.

February

Failure

When your best just isn’t good enough.

This just says it all.  I was riding a trail called “Pete’s Path” and really pushing it.  Pete’s is a tight, off camber, whooped out trail with significant up and down hill sections.  These 2 guys were following me and I seemed to be pulling away.  At the end of the trail I pulled over feeling like I was riding pretty well.  The two guys who were following me finally showed up and stopped.  The guys I was “pulling away from” turned out to be in their 50s and having bike problems.  “When your best just isn’t good enough” -- yes that’s it.

March

Pessimism

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightening kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

I decided to leave the company I was working at, Remedy and joined a startup.  I’m still waiting for the lightening to hit.  The “silver lining” for me this month was the start of the vintage race series here.  My first ride put me over the bars and out of the race with a strained back.  Who needs optimism with a month like this?

April

Mediocrity

It takes a lot less time and most people won’t know the difference until too late.

April describes my mechanical ability.  I’ve been working on a Penton 250 for about a year and doing a very mediocre job, albeit slowly.  Harry really wants to try this bike.  Maybe he will be the one to experience the difference?

May

Defeat

For every winner, there are dozens of losers.  Odds are you’re one of them.

 Yes, I am. 

June

Futility

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

 Jay and I rode the District 36 Little Polecat enduro.  It was futile, we did take the shot but didn’t make it.  The DNF list was pretty small, but both of us made it.

July

Apathy

If we don’t care about the customer, maybe they’ll stop bugging us.

I’ve been trying the apathy thing with my body.  If I ignore it long enough maybe it will stop being a problem.  This month I took my CZ 380 out racing.  Since I don’t remember very much about the race it couldn’t have been good.

August

Stupidity

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.

I put on a race this month.  It was 110 degrees on the track.  I never quit, finishing 3^rd in the 500 Intermediate class.  I was an idiot for not quitting!  Being sick for 4 days due to riding a stupid race in that heat was not worth it.  The only good thing was watching all the other “idiots” do it to.

September

Agony

Not all pain is gain.

I dread this month.  What is going to happen next week when I go racing again?  This month’s picture is a boxer taking a right cross to the face.  Just what I need.

Check out Despair Inc. at: http://www.despair.com/